Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The Year In Review

Well, technically I guess it would be the last 14 months in review, because I had some real humdingers during the end of 2007. And I guess I should have posted this on New Year's Day, but life doesn't always work out that way.

So, getting on with it, in the last 14 months, the following things have happened in this order:

1. Left husband (hereby known as The Donor) because he was horrible to me and subsequently ran to the arms of Mr. Fix-It.

2. Moved into my parents' house.

3. Moved into an apartment with Mr. Fix-It.

4. Found out I was pregnant (the same day as #3).

5. Was "fired" from my job because I was having a relationship with a co-worker.

6. The Donor kept Queenie from me for over 3 weeks and tried to take custody of her in court a week before Christmas - the judge put him on his ass.

7. Moved into a rental house with Mr. Fix-It and our gaggle of children.

8. My father had unexpected double by-pass surgery.

9. Our house was broken into (the same day dad got out of the hospital).

10. I went into labor early and Little Man was born (same day as Mr. Fix-It's wedding anniversary - now, that my friends, is karma).

11. Started looking for a job in August - still got nothin'.

12. Endured the initial "blending" of our families a mere two weeks after giving birth to Little Man. What a GREAT time to introduce new children into a household... Mr. Fix-It's ex is a real brainiac (and she will heretofor be referred to as "The Dark One"). This blending resulted in The Brooder stealing items from The Cheerleader and generally being a pain in the ass.

13. Two episodes of The Brooder having a complete meltdown - one resulting in police presence and admittance into an in-patient psychiatric program for a week.

14. Mr. Fix-It's divorce was final. Yay!

15. Mr. Fix-It being out of town for 7 weeks straight.

16. My divorce mediation (while Mr. Fix-It was out of town).

17. Househunting. Enough said.

18. The Cheerleader's father and his troll of a wife (Meatball & Mrs. Meatball) freaked out over us moving although I am well within my right as far as our custody agreement goes.

19. Buying a house and moving into it. Again, enough said.

20. Still looking for that job.

21. Still waiting for divorce to be final. (Although I did receive the first draft of the decree in the mail on New Year's Day... a little karma again... kind of like Little Man being due on Independence Day).

Yes, a lot of crappy stuff happened in 2008. But, a lot of great stuff happened too. I got engaged. My beautiful, healthy baby boy was born. My dad's heart problem was discovered early and fixed. And as a result of my breakaway from The Donor, I have rekindled many friendships that I thought were long gone (you know who you are).

So, I spent part of New Year's Day on the back of Mr. Fix-It's bike - one of my favorite things to do. And I know that everything that happened last year was just work we had to do on our road to happiness.

Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


From time to time, we are all reminded of this special sense that we have (some more than others) that lets us know when something isn't quite right, or something should be avoided, etc. Intuition.

Last Thursday, we were invited to a going away party for married friends of ours that are moving to China. We had a babysitter lined up for Little Man and all was good. The sitter had to cancel, so I figured we could just take him with us. Then that day, I just had the feeling that maybe we shouldn't go - Little Man wasn't feeling well and I just, well, had a feeling. But they are very good friends and we will miss them terribly... so we went.

The party ends up being a bunch of people that we didn't know and had never heard of from our friends... we get sat by the least desirable people in the room (think about "the mutants at Table 9" in The Wedding Singer) far away from the guests of honor.

We finally get our food and just as the waiter finished saying, "This plate is really hot", Flash (otherwise known as Little Man) reached out and grabbed the plate that felt like it had been in a 400 degree oven for about 10 minutes. Needless to say, his little hand and between his fingers got burned and blistered. And he screamed and screamed and screamed. And The Mutants at Table 9 kept offering up all this lame-ass advice - put butter on it! put honey on it!.

I think the only reason I had even a hint of control was because I didn't want to go uber-bitch in the middle of our friends' party. (That, and I knew that the baby was fine... and he is. Healing just fine.)

So, I blamed myself - I thought to take Little Man from Mr. Fix-It because I was further away from the table, hence further away from the plate, but I didn't do it. Plus, I had the feeling that we shouldn't have gone at all.

Then again, maybe our going stopped something else from happening... now we are just getting into karma and that is a whole other blog entry.

Incidentally, at Pei Wei last night, my fortune cookie said "Trust your intuition." Coincidence? Karma? Who knows. Maybe I will listen to it a little more often...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

What happened in Vegas came home with me on my back...

So, Vegas was fun. Got to hang with The Bride and The Groom, spend some quality time. Mini-Elvis sang "I Can't Help Falling in Love with You" at the ceremony. We ate $25 hamburgers at The Burger Bar - FABULOUS. We went to bed by 10:00 p.m. every night we were there. Yes, we are old, tired and sad.

Oh, and I got another tattoo. What?!?

I couldn't help myself. We were on vacation. Inhibitions were lowered by 1/2 a pitcher of Blue Moon. The shop was right there in Mandalay Bay... it just seemed like the right thing to do. I have been wanting to cover up the "thank God I'm not pregnant" butterfly tat I got on my shoulder when I was 18, but hadn't gotten around to it. So, now I have a butterfly/flower thing with vines behind it that look like an infinity symbol covering the offending butterfly. And the new one covers about 10x more of my shoulder. It is lovely, but I am still a little shocked at myself for getting something so large.

I guess now I can start wearing a tank top when I'm "riding bitch" on the bike. Woohoo!

Friday, November 28, 2008

Giving Thanks

Today is the day after Thanksgiving, and I am home sick while my family is at Mr. Fix-it's aunt's house for a late Thanksgiving dinner. I cried a little when they left - it made me sad to not spend the day with them.

While I could have engaged in self-defeating thoughts and behavior, I chose instead to realize how thankful I am to have a family that I miss when they are away. And that I have a man in my life that doesn't even blink at taking FIVE children on an outing all by himself.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and was able to recognize and celebrate all of the things there are to be thankful for.

Now, if I could just get rid of the stomach cramping... :)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Cast of Players

So, I did not start off my blog with an introduction of the "players" in my life... instead, I felt the need to vent. But, hey, it's my blog, I'll do what I want.

Those of you who know me also know (or at least know of) The Players. To protect the innocent (and more often, the guilty), I have given code names to them all.

Mr. Fix-it: My fiance. I call him this because yes, he is handy around the house, but he is also in the habit of trying to fix things about life in general... he wants everyone to be happy. I love you, honey!

The Brooder: Mr. Fix-it's teenaged daughter. She enjoys making everyone's life as miserable as she thinks hers is, which I guess is what teenagers do.

The Boy: Mr. Fix-it's "tween" son. "The Boy" pretty much sums it up. Wrestling, bodily functions, shooting things with bb guns.

The Cheerleader: My "tween" daughter. We figure she will either grow up to be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader, talk show host or mistress to an oil magnate.

Queenie: My toddler/pre-K daughter. If she doesn't like it or want to do it, it is not an option in her world (or anyone else's for that matter).

Little Man: Our infant son... the best baby in the entire world. Sweet and even-tempered... just wait until we get through with him. :)

I am sure there will be additions to the list... there are the exes, after all. ;) And while I don't like for them to take a starring role, sometimes their presence is too strong to ignore. Kind of like burnt popcorn smell (a nod to my pal Big Luke).

Monday, November 24, 2008

An Open Letter to All Exes...

As I am an ex-wife TWICE over and my fiance has an ex-wife, I have had to learn some "life lessons" surrounding these creatures and the poor children that are caught in-between their parents.

"An Open Letter to All Exes..." is my ventilation system, as well as my way of helping (or at least mildly entertaining) anyone who has an ex, is an ex, is about to be an ex, has to deal with someone else's ex or anyone who has ever watched Divorce Court. :)

Dear Ex-Wife/Husband,

This letter is to remind you that we are no longer married, as evidenced by the 40 or so page divorce decree/custody agreement of which I am certain you received a copy.

As we are no longer married, I also see it fit to remind you that (a) I don't care what you think, (b) I am not required to care what you think and (c) I don't like you all that much. Therefore, our relationship thus forward will be comprised of (1) financial transaction, (2) calendar coordination via email or text and (3) child exchange. The jist of it is this:

Ex-Wife to Ex-Husband - "Give me my child(ren), give me my money, leave me alone."
Ex-Husband to Ex-Wife - "Give me my child(ren), here is your money, leave me alone."

Please refrain from sending me countless emails under the guise of "the good of our child(ren)" - it is transparent and immature. Please see paragraph #1: The divorce decree/custody agreement has already been inked - there is nothing else to talk about. Also, please see paragraph #2: (a) I don't care what you think, (b) I am not required to care what you think and (c) I don't like you all that much.

I am not interested in your opinions, just as I am not interested in you, your thoughts, your budget, your struggles or your assertions that you are a better Christian, lover, poker player, parent, welder, etc. so on and so forth.

Essentially, please live your own life and leave me and my kids out of it.

Have a splendid day,

Your Ex-Husband/Wife